1 00:00:29,904 --> 00:00:31,238 Paolo? 2 00:00:48,256 --> 00:00:49,673 Paolo? 3 00:00:58,266 --> 00:00:59,892 Paolo, are you here? 4 00:01:24,709 --> 00:01:27,795 Oh Paolo, of course I love you. 5 00:01:35,678 --> 00:01:37,513 CONFESSIONS TO MARIKLA 6 00:01:40,308 --> 00:01:41,892 HOW MUCH DOES LOVE INVOLVE YOU? 7 00:01:52,070 --> 00:01:53,695 'Dear Marikla, 8 00:01:53,822 --> 00:01:56,573 'I'm writing to you because I need your advice. 9 00:01:56,699 --> 00:01:59,910 'I'm 24 and have been married for five years. 10 00:02:00,036 --> 00:02:03,789 'I've been told that I'm pretty and that I'm nice to be around. 11 00:02:03,915 --> 00:02:06,416 'I have a good job and a wonderful husband. 12 00:02:06,543 --> 00:02:10,212 'I know I married a bit young, but it's worked out really well. 13 00:02:10,338 --> 00:02:12,506 'Lots of passion to start out with, 14 00:02:12,632 --> 00:02:15,425 'and lots of understanding to keep it together. 15 00:02:28,398 --> 00:02:30,816 'Except that for a while now I've been feeling upset 16 00:02:30,942 --> 00:02:33,068 'in a kind of strange way. 17 00:02:33,194 --> 00:02:34,820 'It's hard to explain. 18 00:02:34,946 --> 00:02:39,867 'I want to live more... more fully, more intensely. 19 00:02:39,993 --> 00:02:44,163 'But my days are so uneventful, they're almost hum-drum. 20 00:02:44,289 --> 00:02:46,165 'I tell myself that it must be the season 21 00:02:46,291 --> 00:02:51,170 'that's making me have these strange restless cravings. 22 00:02:51,296 --> 00:02:54,131 'But the fact is that they've become stronger and stronger lateIy. 23 00:02:55,383 --> 00:02:58,635 'Especially since that night my sister Nadia took us to a party 24 00:02:58,761 --> 00:03:01,430 'in honour of a Venetian poetess. ' 25 00:03:07,061 --> 00:03:10,647 I'd like to fuck you and not touch you, 26 00:03:10,773 --> 00:03:13,567 and, loose tongued, make a chant resound 27 00:03:13,693 --> 00:03:16,278 among the uncertain hairs of your ass. 28 00:03:16,779 --> 00:03:19,907 I'd like to stuff dancing cunts in your mouth. 29 00:03:20,033 --> 00:03:24,703 I'd like to cover you with sticky breasts and perfumed sweat! 30 00:03:24,829 --> 00:03:29,666 And down between your balls, suck your cock into my heartache. 31 00:03:30,126 --> 00:03:36,465 I'd like, between lusty cornholings and a sob, to lick your knees. 32 00:03:36,591 --> 00:03:41,094 And upwards, from your belly to your heart. 33 00:03:41,221 --> 00:03:44,514 And to find some rest, I'd Iike not... 34 00:03:44,641 --> 00:03:46,558 to be abIe to come anymore. 35 00:03:46,684 --> 00:03:50,479 How exceptional! Neo-positivist influences... 36 00:03:53,650 --> 00:03:55,359 Brava! 37 00:04:11,793 --> 00:04:14,169 Congratulations. Your book will be a smash. 38 00:04:14,295 --> 00:04:16,588 I'm Nadia Valentini. I run a body-fitness gym. 39 00:04:16,714 --> 00:04:18,674 Come in and give it a try whenever you like. 40 00:04:22,428 --> 00:04:23,720 Nadia Valentini. 41 00:04:23,846 --> 00:04:27,015 - I'd love to be able to write like you. - Ah. 42 00:04:28,601 --> 00:04:31,395 ♪ Sends a shiver through my spine 43 00:04:32,438 --> 00:04:33,981 ♪ I want you so badly... ♪ 44 00:04:34,941 --> 00:04:39,945 Really? I've never seen a love-line so long. Or so hard. 45 00:04:40,071 --> 00:04:42,990 ♪ And I'm beginning to lose myself 46 00:04:43,116 --> 00:04:46,451 ♪ Your touch just feels so real 47 00:04:47,370 --> 00:04:51,623 ♪ Please don't walk out of my dreams... ♪ 48 00:04:55,211 --> 00:04:58,046 - May I beg you for a dance? - Why, certainly! 49 00:05:07,432 --> 00:05:10,809 Everyone gate-crashes in Rome, no one needs an invitation. 50 00:05:10,935 --> 00:05:12,978 I wasn't invited either. 51 00:05:15,064 --> 00:05:17,816 I accompanied the poetess. 52 00:05:17,942 --> 00:05:19,985 In Venice we are next-door neighbours. 53 00:05:20,111 --> 00:05:22,946 Nowhere's like Venice, is it? I was born there. 54 00:05:23,072 --> 00:05:27,409 Ah, oui? Do you know how it was described by a famous French poet? 55 00:05:27,535 --> 00:05:30,912 "Venice - sexe femelle d'Europe. " 56 00:05:38,921 --> 00:05:41,381 Are you a sailor, with those tattoos? 57 00:05:41,507 --> 00:05:46,094 Oh, I travel around, you know? 58 00:05:46,220 --> 00:05:48,013 I pick up old things. 59 00:05:48,139 --> 00:05:51,350 I wish you'd go there and pick up those two old biddies and throw them out! 60 00:05:51,476 --> 00:05:54,811 - You like the boy? - Well, he is my husband, after all. 61 00:05:54,937 --> 00:05:58,148 Come on, husbands don't count! 62 00:05:58,274 --> 00:06:01,985 Maybe not for you, but mine counts a lot for me. 63 00:06:05,198 --> 00:06:09,618 I'd like to fuck you and not touch you... 64 00:06:12,914 --> 00:06:17,250 ... and, loose-tongued, make a chant resound... 65 00:06:19,504 --> 00:06:21,963 ... among the uncertain hairs of your ass. 66 00:06:22,882 --> 00:06:25,050 I'll bet you're sopping wet. 67 00:06:26,803 --> 00:06:30,472 Excuse me. My head is spinning. 68 00:06:44,195 --> 00:06:47,739 Don't bother with museums, you fools, art is among us, we are art. 69 00:06:47,865 --> 00:06:49,866 I give you two perfect examples of the baroque. 70 00:06:49,992 --> 00:06:52,119 Their prominent masses flatten out as they come down. 71 00:06:52,245 --> 00:06:53,495 Borromini brought to life! 72 00:06:53,621 --> 00:06:55,539 Turn them around and you have two prominent asses 73 00:06:55,665 --> 00:06:57,499 in pure rococo style, gorgeous! 74 00:07:04,006 --> 00:07:06,174 - But... - Shh. Do not be afraid. 75 00:07:06,300 --> 00:07:08,927 I'm not afraid. But I don't know what your name is. 76 00:07:09,053 --> 00:07:12,097 Oh, très juste. Alphonse Donatien. 77 00:07:12,807 --> 00:07:15,183 Pirate d'amour. 78 00:07:42,753 --> 00:07:46,548 I was so right about you. You're at high tide. 79 00:07:53,848 --> 00:07:55,098 Man, that's not fair! 80 00:07:55,224 --> 00:07:57,851 I'm doing everything I promised to do. 81 00:08:23,836 --> 00:08:26,880 Diana, are you in there? 82 00:08:27,006 --> 00:08:29,925 Yes, Paolo. Just a minute. 83 00:08:45,149 --> 00:08:46,691 I hadn't seen you for a while. Anything wrong? 84 00:08:46,817 --> 00:08:49,986 Of course not, I just had to pee. Do you want to leave, darling? 85 00:08:50,112 --> 00:08:52,239 Yeah, I'm bored silly. This party's the shits. 86 00:08:52,365 --> 00:08:55,659 Whatever you like. I'll get my things. 87 00:09:07,129 --> 00:09:08,380 Paolo! 88 00:09:08,506 --> 00:09:10,215 You're dripping. 89 00:09:11,717 --> 00:09:15,720 And it's not pee. What gives, you hot so soon? 90 00:09:15,846 --> 00:09:18,515 Well, if you touch me there, of course I get wet. 91 00:09:18,641 --> 00:09:20,684 You know how sensitive I am. 92 00:09:20,810 --> 00:09:22,352 Do it some more. 93 00:09:28,109 --> 00:09:30,193 Was it that guy or me who brought it out in you? 94 00:09:30,319 --> 00:09:34,281 - What guy? - Your partner. The dancer. 95 00:09:34,407 --> 00:09:38,451 Oh. He's French. He has a home in Venice, he said. 96 00:09:38,578 --> 00:09:40,787 He came on Iike some kind of cyclone. 97 00:09:42,373 --> 00:09:45,041 Paolo, you're driving me crazy. 98 00:09:45,167 --> 00:09:46,710 A little mature, wasn't he? 99 00:09:46,836 --> 00:09:51,047 - Mature isn't the word. - You should've called me, my dear. 100 00:09:51,173 --> 00:09:53,091 You just seem to assume that I fought it. 101 00:09:53,217 --> 00:09:56,303 - I even found him in the bathroom there. - That filth? 102 00:09:56,429 --> 00:10:00,557 You just didn't realise it, right there, standing behind the door. 103 00:10:00,683 --> 00:10:03,935 Ah, you're kidding. It's just another one of your silly stories. 104 00:10:04,061 --> 00:10:07,022 - He had me naked in no time. - Quit that! 105 00:10:07,148 --> 00:10:10,859 He wanted to give it to me in the ass, if you hadn't shown up right then. 106 00:10:10,985 --> 00:10:13,945 You're inventing everything. I know it! I'm no idiot! 107 00:10:14,071 --> 00:10:15,947 He thought my ass was beautiful. 108 00:10:18,868 --> 00:10:20,660 How was... how was his thing? 109 00:10:20,786 --> 00:10:23,204 Did he make you feel it? Was it as hard as this? 110 00:10:36,427 --> 00:10:38,011 You like my ass, don't you, Paolo? 111 00:10:38,137 --> 00:10:40,889 How many times do I have to tell you? It's the most gorge... 112 00:10:45,269 --> 00:10:48,855 You can't give an opinion unless you look at it first. 113 00:10:52,943 --> 00:10:55,862 - Tell me I have a beautiful ass. - It's beautiful. 114 00:10:58,407 --> 00:10:59,616 Oh, God! 115 00:11:03,704 --> 00:11:05,455 - Let's go home, come on. - No! 116 00:11:06,499 --> 00:11:08,583 - Let's do it here! - Huh? 117 00:11:11,128 --> 00:11:12,671 Hurry up! 118 00:11:13,673 --> 00:11:14,964 Huh, amateurs! 119 00:11:18,803 --> 00:11:21,513 Tell me you made it all up. Oh, tell me! 120 00:11:22,306 --> 00:11:24,265 Be quiet! 121 00:11:31,482 --> 00:11:35,568 - And they call us whores! - You got it. 122 00:11:49,750 --> 00:11:51,334 Bonjour! 123 00:11:57,925 --> 00:12:00,760 OK now, lazy-bone, rise and shine! 124 00:12:00,886 --> 00:12:03,680 I'll teach you some good manners! 125 00:12:04,932 --> 00:12:07,475 No, you're hurting me! Stop it! 126 00:12:08,978 --> 00:12:10,687 Hey, what gives? 127 00:12:12,857 --> 00:12:15,358 Lay off, will you? 128 00:12:15,484 --> 00:12:17,652 You're being raped, Mister. How do you like it? 129 00:12:21,157 --> 00:12:24,784 Put it on hold! Carnal violence is put off until this evening! 130 00:12:24,910 --> 00:12:26,119 No! 131 00:12:26,245 --> 00:12:29,497 Hey, let go! Let go of the merchandise! 132 00:12:36,756 --> 00:12:39,007 If my mother could see the chaos you make me live in! 133 00:12:39,133 --> 00:12:40,925 I think it's nice. 134 00:12:41,051 --> 00:12:43,803 And besides, wicked witches don't have to like it. 135 00:12:43,929 --> 00:12:47,140 I beg your pardon! You're not to speak about my mother like that. 136 00:12:47,266 --> 00:12:49,476 OK, Mr Grumbly, OK. 137 00:13:05,034 --> 00:13:07,327 It's just the Water Music of Mozart! 138 00:13:08,204 --> 00:13:10,288 Come sing. 139 00:13:11,832 --> 00:13:13,500 You can Handel that! 140 00:13:35,064 --> 00:13:36,773 That's complete amorality! 141 00:13:36,899 --> 00:13:38,233 You pig! 142 00:13:51,247 --> 00:13:52,997 That son of a bitch dribbled right up the middle! 143 00:13:53,123 --> 00:13:55,291 You kidding? That shithead's nowhere. 144 00:13:55,417 --> 00:13:58,795 He couldn't find the hole in that hoop if they stuffed his face inside it! 145 00:13:58,921 --> 00:14:00,380 Got great hands. 146 00:14:00,506 --> 00:14:02,882 You know what Hal Taylor would do? 147 00:14:03,008 --> 00:14:04,843 That so-called turkey is a great clutch player! 148 00:14:04,969 --> 00:14:07,512 Is that what you call a centre? 149 00:14:07,638 --> 00:14:10,473 He's the greatest centre in the league right now. 150 00:14:10,599 --> 00:14:12,559 I'm out of patience with assholes like you 151 00:14:12,685 --> 00:14:14,435 who wouldn't know a point guard from a pivot! 152 00:14:14,562 --> 00:14:18,690 - You need a crooked umpire to win! - You ever seen a basketball game? 153 00:14:19,817 --> 00:14:21,568 Let go of me, goddammit? 154 00:14:21,694 --> 00:14:24,153 Let go of what? Jesus Christ, a fag! 155 00:14:24,280 --> 00:14:26,239 I've been standing here talking to a fag all this time! 156 00:14:26,365 --> 00:14:27,740 You grabbed my cock! 157 00:14:27,867 --> 00:14:29,826 Now I know why you like that Taylor kid so much. 158 00:14:29,952 --> 00:14:31,578 You're lucky this is my stop! 159 00:14:31,704 --> 00:14:34,163 Or what, you would've kissed me? 160 00:14:56,312 --> 00:14:58,396 Miss, take my seat. Please do! 161 00:14:58,522 --> 00:15:01,316 Thanks, no, my stop is coming up. 162 00:15:23,047 --> 00:15:25,673 Sorry. I'm sorry. 163 00:15:25,799 --> 00:15:28,551 Hey, listen. You gotta get a couple of things clear. 164 00:15:28,677 --> 00:15:32,680 Get the mud out of your upstairs. I can see it's hard on you. 165 00:15:32,806 --> 00:15:35,099 That little thing might just ruin your vocation. 166 00:15:35,225 --> 00:15:38,561 - Miss... - Take my advice, kid. Go confess all. 167 00:15:38,687 --> 00:15:40,730 How... about a phone call? 168 00:15:40,856 --> 00:15:42,482 - Do you have my number? - No. 169 00:15:42,608 --> 00:15:45,026 You're outta luck, boy. 170 00:15:50,282 --> 00:15:52,283 So long! 171 00:16:04,838 --> 00:16:06,172 Hi, Lello. 172 00:16:06,298 --> 00:16:08,925 You're crying, what's the matter? 173 00:16:09,051 --> 00:16:12,512 He's left me. He's gone back to his wife. 174 00:16:12,638 --> 00:16:15,932 The battle-axe has the vapours, and he feels guilty, says it's our fault. 175 00:16:16,058 --> 00:16:19,185 - Is that true? - I should know? Perhaps it is. 176 00:16:19,311 --> 00:16:21,562 Only with a million guys to pick on, why pick on my guy? 177 00:16:21,689 --> 00:16:24,565 Now, Lello, just get your best drag on tonight and go cruising, 178 00:16:24,692 --> 00:16:26,859 you'll find one ten thousand times better! 179 00:16:26,986 --> 00:16:29,028 - You really think so? - Guaranteed. 180 00:16:34,410 --> 00:16:36,452 Hey, your diet, Antonietta! 181 00:16:36,578 --> 00:16:40,790 Like the lady said, everything I like is either illegal, immoral, or fattening! 182 00:16:40,916 --> 00:16:42,375 Really! 183 00:16:44,461 --> 00:16:47,296 Look, I have a terrific surprise for you! 184 00:16:47,423 --> 00:16:50,675 It gave me some ideas for a really memorable night with Pierre. 185 00:16:50,801 --> 00:16:53,886 - Is there a new way, huh? - The Atom Bomb, just try it! 186 00:16:59,184 --> 00:17:01,853 You're just dying to take it home with you, Lello! 187 00:17:01,979 --> 00:17:04,814 I bought six like it yesterday, only a much better quality. 188 00:17:04,940 --> 00:17:08,067 Then you should invite us all up to have a look at them, least you can do. 189 00:17:19,246 --> 00:17:21,539 Hello, kids, hard at work? That's fine. 190 00:17:21,665 --> 00:17:22,874 Hi, Mr Silvio. 191 00:17:23,000 --> 00:17:25,752 Oh, Antonietta, some new items have come in. 192 00:17:25,878 --> 00:17:28,796 Would you mind very much modelling a few in the South Wing? 193 00:17:28,922 --> 00:17:31,090 Oh, that's really very nice of you. 194 00:17:31,216 --> 00:17:34,469 - I'll be right there. - Come along, my dear. 195 00:17:36,472 --> 00:17:37,847 Oh! 196 00:17:37,973 --> 00:17:40,516 Some girls have all the luck, huh! 197 00:17:44,021 --> 00:17:46,856 Er... the rest of you can take a break. 198 00:17:50,277 --> 00:17:51,944 Come here. 199 00:17:52,821 --> 00:17:54,238 Lean back. 200 00:17:58,494 --> 00:18:00,119 Ah, yes. 201 00:18:02,831 --> 00:18:04,499 Let me see the one on the right today. 202 00:18:04,625 --> 00:18:06,375 Let me see all of you. 203 00:18:07,669 --> 00:18:09,337 Spread your legs. 204 00:18:15,302 --> 00:18:17,053 Now bend this leg a little. 205 00:18:19,056 --> 00:18:20,848 And turn around now. 206 00:18:21,600 --> 00:18:22,934 That's it. 207 00:18:23,060 --> 00:18:25,478 Pull your panties up tight between the cheeks. 208 00:18:30,150 --> 00:18:33,528 Oh... just my size! 209 00:18:34,988 --> 00:18:39,575 This morning I woke up with a third leg like a telephone pole, 210 00:18:39,701 --> 00:18:41,410 and I thought of you right away! 211 00:18:41,537 --> 00:18:43,287 I'm really flattered. 212 00:19:07,771 --> 00:19:11,607 - Good morning, all. Hello, Diana. - Hello, Mrs Tommasini. 213 00:19:11,733 --> 00:19:13,818 You seem to be dressed in mourning, though. 214 00:19:13,944 --> 00:19:16,529 I am, unfortunately. I lost my little Danny. 215 00:19:16,655 --> 00:19:19,407 Oh, I'm terribly sorry. Somebody very close? 216 00:19:20,075 --> 00:19:21,367 Oh, yes, intimate. 217 00:19:21,493 --> 00:19:23,661 We'd been together for ages. He was a wonderful labrador. 218 00:19:24,204 --> 00:19:26,038 Ah... I imagine. 219 00:19:26,165 --> 00:19:27,707 And how's your husband, the Senator? 220 00:19:27,833 --> 00:19:30,418 In France eating foiegras and fighting hunger in the world. 221 00:19:30,544 --> 00:19:32,712 Have you prepared those articles as I asked you? 222 00:19:32,838 --> 00:19:34,338 Of course. 223 00:19:34,464 --> 00:19:36,465 I can't wait to fill up my drawers. 224 00:19:41,471 --> 00:19:42,930 Let's try these. 225 00:19:43,056 --> 00:19:45,308 But they're the same ones you chose last Thursday. 226 00:19:45,434 --> 00:19:48,186 I'm no idiot, I stick with what works well. 227 00:19:48,312 --> 00:19:50,479 They wound up ripped into shreds. 228 00:19:50,606 --> 00:19:52,398 That engineer has tastes of his own. 229 00:19:52,524 --> 00:19:55,359 An engineer? Your newest conquest, huh? 230 00:19:55,903 --> 00:19:58,154 No, but one of the most generous. Cartier! 231 00:19:58,280 --> 00:20:00,323 Gosh. Congratulations. 232 00:20:00,449 --> 00:20:03,701 Oh well, at least I'm never bored in the afternoons. 233 00:20:03,827 --> 00:20:05,703 I've found a little group of friends. 234 00:20:05,829 --> 00:20:08,581 I was introduced by Alicia. She's a client of yours. 235 00:20:08,707 --> 00:20:10,541 Alicia? Oh, I know, Mrs Dow. 236 00:20:10,667 --> 00:20:12,543 Right, the one they call Mrs Sow. 237 00:20:12,669 --> 00:20:15,880 Doctors, lawyers, undersecretaries. You make great money. 238 00:20:16,006 --> 00:20:18,007 If you're interested, I'll talk to her about you. 239 00:20:18,133 --> 00:20:22,511 Oh, gee, thanks a lot, but I... I just don't think I could really, I mean... 240 00:20:22,638 --> 00:20:24,263 Trafficking poontang? 241 00:20:24,389 --> 00:20:26,307 Come on, honey, this isn't what you think it is. 242 00:20:26,433 --> 00:20:30,478 I'm not really a pro. Fills in spare time! And plenty of ladies do it. 243 00:20:30,604 --> 00:20:34,815 Anyway, real whores never come. I do, like an avalanche! 244 00:20:34,942 --> 00:20:36,484 Oh, men have great imagination. 245 00:20:36,610 --> 00:20:39,237 I learn something nice and quirky on almost every date! 246 00:20:39,363 --> 00:20:41,155 You mean that wouldn't interest you? 247 00:20:41,281 --> 00:20:43,741 My husband has imagination enough. 248 00:20:43,867 --> 00:20:47,870 Oh, mine doesn't! How inventive can an envoy to the European Parliament be? 249 00:20:47,996 --> 00:20:50,039 Oh, but it's so romantic to meet someone unknown, 250 00:20:50,165 --> 00:20:52,208 in some hotel room, in an apartment. 251 00:20:52,334 --> 00:20:53,751 Your heart goes like mad. 252 00:20:53,877 --> 00:20:56,796 It's an adventure of the unknown, it's marvellous! 253 00:20:56,922 --> 00:20:59,215 And then the thrill of feeling yourself up for sale! 254 00:20:59,341 --> 00:21:03,094 Oh, the shame, the sin... I'd give it a whirl, if I were you. 255 00:21:03,220 --> 00:21:05,805 I must say I really think I ought to pass on... 256 00:21:05,931 --> 00:21:07,932 I know a Chilean bishop who'd simply adore you. 257 00:21:08,058 --> 00:21:11,727 - Priests have never been my ideal. - They're the best customers, believe me! 258 00:21:11,853 --> 00:21:14,480 - All right, I'll take a gross. - OK, great! 259 00:21:19,236 --> 00:21:21,404 Mrs Tommasini is really very nice. 260 00:21:21,530 --> 00:21:23,114 She's a big success in what she does, 261 00:21:23,240 --> 00:21:26,659 which is actually something like what I do, if you want to know the truth. 262 00:21:26,785 --> 00:21:28,494 In there getting porked, yes. 263 00:21:28,620 --> 00:21:31,455 My precious favours in return for a raise in pay. 264 00:21:31,581 --> 00:21:33,916 My husband isn't sorry, and neither am I. 265 00:21:34,042 --> 00:21:35,209 Do you mean that? 266 00:21:35,335 --> 00:21:37,211 Well, he doesn't know all the details, of course. 267 00:21:37,337 --> 00:21:38,629 No guilt about it, for Pierre? 268 00:21:38,755 --> 00:21:41,340 Please, I'm not in love with this old geezer. 269 00:21:41,466 --> 00:21:43,968 But you're still betraying your husband, aren't you? 270 00:21:44,094 --> 00:21:46,012 I don't see how you got that in your mind. 271 00:21:46,138 --> 00:21:47,680 Come on, don't play so dumb! 272 00:21:47,806 --> 00:21:49,473 It's not easy to define. 273 00:21:49,599 --> 00:21:52,601 With Pierre it's special - there's tenderness, and more. 274 00:21:52,728 --> 00:21:55,229 With the others, a poke is a picnic! 275 00:21:55,731 --> 00:21:57,023 See you soon, Diana. 276 00:21:57,149 --> 00:21:59,483 Should you change your mind, call me on the telephone. 277 00:21:59,609 --> 00:22:02,153 OK, I'll keep it in mind, thanks. 278 00:22:08,869 --> 00:22:11,495 I don't know how you can bring yourself to do those things with the boss. 279 00:22:11,621 --> 00:22:13,289 Just for openers, he's ugly as sin. 280 00:22:13,415 --> 00:22:16,584 I'm not gonna cry over that. There's my handsome Mister Pierre. 281 00:22:16,710 --> 00:22:18,544 And there's something special with the uglies. 282 00:22:18,670 --> 00:22:20,504 They're so much more generous than the pretties. 283 00:22:20,630 --> 00:22:23,758 Fact is, they need to have us girls pardon their homeliness, all the time. 284 00:22:23,884 --> 00:22:26,802 - I guess. - Some people call it wicked. 285 00:22:26,928 --> 00:22:28,512 It's big fun, though. 286 00:22:28,638 --> 00:22:31,557 When I make it with the boss, I feel like I'm screwing my own dad. 287 00:22:31,683 --> 00:22:33,351 So... big deal! 288 00:22:33,477 --> 00:22:36,604 A little incest. Happy banging I say! 289 00:22:36,730 --> 00:22:39,899 - What if you get knocked up? - Oh, come on, there's no danger. 290 00:22:40,025 --> 00:22:43,235 It's simple, use the most natural of methods. 291 00:22:43,362 --> 00:22:44,487 Just take it here! 292 00:22:46,740 --> 00:22:50,034 Diana! My God. Are you all right? 293 00:22:51,453 --> 00:22:54,246 I'm all right. It's OK. 294 00:22:55,415 --> 00:22:58,542 Diana? Would you mind coming to the workroom? 295 00:22:58,668 --> 00:23:02,713 - There's someone here to see you. - Oh, yes, yes. Thank you. 296 00:23:02,839 --> 00:23:04,882 I'll be right there. 297 00:23:16,561 --> 00:23:18,479 Nadia, what are you doing here? 298 00:23:18,605 --> 00:23:20,398 Delicately, Nadia! 299 00:23:20,524 --> 00:23:23,150 - Aunt Emma just kicked the bucket. - Blessed Mary, she didn't? 300 00:23:23,276 --> 00:23:25,778 It's a good thing I told her to use a little tact. 301 00:23:25,904 --> 00:23:29,240 I can't leave the gym right now. You'll have to go to the funeral. 302 00:23:29,366 --> 00:23:31,534 And you were always her pet, and we all know it. 303 00:23:32,202 --> 00:23:34,620 But I don't know. I'm afraid I... 304 00:23:34,746 --> 00:23:37,373 - My job, Paolo... - No problem, Diana. 305 00:23:37,499 --> 00:23:38,833 None whatever. 306 00:23:38,959 --> 00:23:42,420 You go to Venice tomorrow for that funeral, and don't worry about us. 307 00:23:42,546 --> 00:23:44,797 And don't worry about Paolo. 308 00:23:44,923 --> 00:23:46,549 You're going to be away. 309 00:23:46,675 --> 00:23:49,135 And while you are, I'll take care of him. 310 00:23:49,261 --> 00:23:51,053 I promise you. 311 00:23:56,476 --> 00:23:58,602 I'm sorry, darling, I wish I could go with you, 312 00:23:58,728 --> 00:24:01,272 but this is a bad time, I'm up to my neck in work. 313 00:24:01,398 --> 00:24:04,900 Don't worry. I'm a big girl. I can handle it on my own. 314 00:24:05,026 --> 00:24:08,362 I'm worried about your fidelity. You know how sexy funerals are. 315 00:24:08,488 --> 00:24:12,908 - Paolo, that's crazy! - It's an established historical fact. 316 00:24:13,034 --> 00:24:14,869 A funeral atmosphere creates, on its own, 317 00:24:14,995 --> 00:24:17,788 a contrasting, compensating desire to screw. 318 00:24:17,914 --> 00:24:20,749 It says so in an article on adultery I've been reading. 319 00:24:20,876 --> 00:24:22,418 Do you know that statistics show 320 00:24:22,544 --> 00:24:25,588 that over 60% of Italian wives cheat on their husbands? 321 00:24:28,842 --> 00:24:31,677 - Hey, what the hell's this? - Antonietta gave it to me. 322 00:24:31,803 --> 00:24:33,971 What kind of a crowd do you run around with? 323 00:24:34,097 --> 00:24:35,639 People who aren't ashamed of what they do. 324 00:24:35,765 --> 00:24:38,851 Not up-tight old frumps like you. Let's take a look at it. 325 00:24:38,977 --> 00:24:40,394 If you insist. 326 00:25:01,625 --> 00:25:03,918 'Come in, please. Is the gentleman with you?' 327 00:25:04,044 --> 00:25:05,294 'He's my husband. 328 00:25:05,420 --> 00:25:07,963 - 'Wait here, will you, darling?' - 'Of course, dear. ' 329 00:25:10,133 --> 00:25:12,760 Oh, that's nice, oh yes. 330 00:25:13,845 --> 00:25:16,514 - Mm... like that. - 'Get undressed, please. ' 331 00:25:17,224 --> 00:25:20,559 Further down, to the right. 332 00:25:29,819 --> 00:25:31,904 'Panties too, please. ' 333 00:25:40,497 --> 00:25:42,248 You're off target, Jack. 334 00:25:44,709 --> 00:25:46,377 'Sit down here. 335 00:25:49,965 --> 00:25:51,924 'Open wide. ' 336 00:25:52,968 --> 00:25:55,052 Well, what do you think? 337 00:25:55,178 --> 00:25:58,931 When you go to the gynaecologist, I mean does he, er... ? 338 00:25:59,057 --> 00:26:03,435 That man? But he's at least 90! 339 00:26:03,562 --> 00:26:05,688 Supposing he was a young and handsome guy? 340 00:26:05,814 --> 00:26:08,065 Well, it depends. I couldn't say. 341 00:26:08,191 --> 00:26:10,651 - 'Doctor, what are you doing?' - 'Just doing my job, ma'am. 342 00:26:10,777 --> 00:26:12,653 'Now relax and let me concentrate. ' 343 00:26:13,405 --> 00:26:15,406 Would it upset you a lot if I did? 344 00:26:15,532 --> 00:26:17,116 I'd be furious as hell, dammit! 345 00:26:18,410 --> 00:26:21,829 And you'd have no other type of reaction? 346 00:26:23,206 --> 00:26:25,332 I... I'd be excited! 347 00:26:25,458 --> 00:26:28,627 You know, that even goes on at the store, all the time. 348 00:26:28,753 --> 00:26:30,796 It's our boss, what a horny man! 349 00:26:30,922 --> 00:26:32,840 He paws me every single minute, honest! 350 00:26:32,966 --> 00:26:35,175 Oh yeah? Where does he paw you? 351 00:26:35,844 --> 00:26:38,304 All over - my tits, my ass... 352 00:26:39,389 --> 00:26:41,640 He was even grabbing a feel while he was saying his condolences. 353 00:26:42,559 --> 00:26:45,019 What a swine! How about you, how did you react? 354 00:26:45,145 --> 00:26:47,771 You just stood there, I bet! Come on, tell me. 355 00:26:47,897 --> 00:26:49,440 I got carried away. 356 00:26:49,566 --> 00:26:51,984 I wound up being dragged into the back room. 357 00:26:52,110 --> 00:26:54,653 Yeah? Then what did he do to you? Tell me! 358 00:26:54,779 --> 00:26:56,697 He threw me down on the table. 359 00:26:56,823 --> 00:26:59,533 He opened my legs, and he touched me right on the button. 360 00:26:59,659 --> 00:27:01,327 - You mean here, don't you? - Yeah. 361 00:27:01,453 --> 00:27:03,704 - Like that? - Yes, like that. 362 00:27:03,830 --> 00:27:04,997 Then what? 363 00:27:05,123 --> 00:27:09,084 Then he turned me around and made me bend forward. 364 00:27:11,254 --> 00:27:14,757 'Oh, fuck! What a cock! 365 00:27:14,883 --> 00:27:17,259 'Give it to me! All of it! 366 00:27:20,347 --> 00:27:23,474 - 'Rip my ass apart!' - Higher up, darling, higher up! 367 00:27:23,600 --> 00:27:25,351 Please! 368 00:27:25,477 --> 00:27:28,479 I can't take it! It's your fault, you little sow! 369 00:27:28,605 --> 00:27:30,898 That imagination of yours excites me too much! 370 00:28:47,600 --> 00:28:50,227 You could both do a lady a favour today. 371 00:28:51,229 --> 00:28:52,730 Sure, it'd be a pleasure. 372 00:28:52,856 --> 00:28:56,483 I'm very willing to pay. Shall we say a million lire? 373 00:28:57,152 --> 00:28:58,444 But to do what, though? 374 00:28:58,570 --> 00:29:00,612 I want you to help me. 375 00:29:00,739 --> 00:29:02,197 It's so cruel. 376 00:29:02,323 --> 00:29:04,575 My ass is still a virgin. Would you... ? 377 00:29:04,701 --> 00:29:06,702 Money to do it? Nah... 378 00:29:06,828 --> 00:29:09,788 I know it's incurably romantic, but this guy says "no go". 379 00:29:40,904 --> 00:29:44,114 I'm in mourning. Would you please not act so uncouth? 380 00:29:55,376 --> 00:29:58,712 Subject to an absolutely binding clause by whose terms he will be enjoined 381 00:29:58,838 --> 00:30:02,257 from putting up new buildings or additional floors to the existing ones, 382 00:30:02,383 --> 00:30:04,301 I bequeath to Marco Valentini, 383 00:30:04,427 --> 00:30:07,971 son of my brother Luigi Valentini and therefore my legitimate nephew, 384 00:30:08,097 --> 00:30:09,807 the property of Villa di Mira... 385 00:30:09,933 --> 00:30:11,225 She was always so selfish! 386 00:30:11,351 --> 00:30:13,769 ... of which he has clear and free title legally. 387 00:30:13,895 --> 00:30:16,021 Is she kidding, that old ruin? 388 00:30:16,147 --> 00:30:18,607 It'll only take 60 times what it's worth to fix it up! 389 00:30:18,733 --> 00:30:20,025 Item! 390 00:30:20,151 --> 00:30:22,528 I bequeath to Diana Bruni, 391 00:30:22,654 --> 00:30:26,698 daughter of the late Giovanna Valentini and therefore my legitimate niece 392 00:30:26,825 --> 00:30:29,827 my property consisting of the top floor of the building... 393 00:30:29,953 --> 00:30:33,497 - Oh! - ... at 1477 Giudecca, Old Town. 394 00:30:33,623 --> 00:30:36,500 In its present condition and with everything inside it 395 00:30:36,626 --> 00:30:39,127 such as is to be found at the moment of my decease. 396 00:30:39,254 --> 00:30:42,089 You have all the luck. It's just what I wanted to get my claws on. 397 00:30:42,215 --> 00:30:44,091 It was going to be my pied-a-terre in Venice! 398 00:30:44,217 --> 00:30:45,342 Clause three. 399 00:30:45,468 --> 00:30:47,386 I do hereby take all my other properties 400 00:30:47,512 --> 00:30:50,264 and all my gifts and incomes accruing thereto, 401 00:30:50,390 --> 00:30:53,934 as well as my cash account and bonds in branch number six of the Bank of Venice 402 00:30:54,060 --> 00:30:57,521 and leave them to the convent of the Carmelite Nuns in Vittorio Veneto, 403 00:30:57,647 --> 00:31:00,440 - whom I supported fervently all my life. - God bless her. 404 00:31:00,567 --> 00:31:02,317 Your signatures. 405 00:31:09,367 --> 00:31:10,951 You look great. 406 00:31:12,078 --> 00:31:14,329 - The air in Rome! - Thanks. 407 00:31:14,455 --> 00:31:16,790 I'm going to take a look at the penthouse. Do you want to see it? 408 00:31:16,916 --> 00:31:19,960 That's impossible, Marco. We have guests tonight. 409 00:31:20,086 --> 00:31:22,713 Don't worry about a thing, Nora. You go on back to Padova. 410 00:31:22,839 --> 00:31:27,175 I'll go along with Diana and I'll be home in time for dinner. 411 00:31:29,137 --> 00:31:31,013 Once again, please. 412 00:31:32,307 --> 00:31:34,516 Father, you sign down at the bottom of the page. 413 00:31:34,642 --> 00:31:35,767 The last shall be the first. 414 00:31:36,728 --> 00:31:39,563 - I'm glad you came along with me. - Strange lady, Aunt Emma. 415 00:31:39,689 --> 00:31:41,273 She liked us a lot, you and me. 416 00:31:41,399 --> 00:31:44,484 Actually, of all the relatives, I'm the one that spent the least time with her. 417 00:31:44,611 --> 00:31:46,570 - But you knew about her? - Well, sure. 418 00:31:46,696 --> 00:31:48,739 At least the things the family said. 419 00:31:48,865 --> 00:31:52,242 Discreet, organised, intelligent... above all, skillful. 420 00:31:52,368 --> 00:31:54,161 Skillful? In what sense? 421 00:31:54,287 --> 00:31:58,290 Skillful in bed, two or three lovers at a time, maybe four. 422 00:31:58,416 --> 00:32:02,711 The right men though, stalwart citizens, full of cash and possibilities. 423 00:32:02,837 --> 00:32:05,297 They helped her make her money grow. 424 00:32:05,423 --> 00:32:07,799 As it turned out, she learned her lessons very well. 425 00:32:07,926 --> 00:32:10,928 For herself and for us, as we heard in her will. 426 00:32:11,054 --> 00:32:12,304 How about Uncle Harry? 427 00:32:12,430 --> 00:32:15,766 A mystery! Did he know about her infidelities or didn't he? 428 00:32:15,892 --> 00:32:17,726 Did he like it, or was it killing him? 429 00:32:17,852 --> 00:32:21,438 Well, I still think he was really never interested in women. 430 00:32:21,564 --> 00:32:24,691 But one thing's for sure, Emma was always gaga over him. 431 00:32:24,817 --> 00:32:27,778 And if he were alive today, we wouldn't have inherited a thing. 432 00:32:31,032 --> 00:32:32,115 What? 433 00:32:35,536 --> 00:32:38,872 Don't worry, nobody's gonna take your penthouse away from you, Diana. 434 00:32:38,998 --> 00:32:41,291 It's yours, and you can do whatever you want with it. 435 00:32:41,417 --> 00:32:45,087 Who knows? I could run into you in Venice from time to time. 436 00:32:46,714 --> 00:32:48,507 Certainly you will. 437 00:32:49,217 --> 00:32:51,510 - How's it going with you and Nora? - How about with you and Paolo? 438 00:32:51,636 --> 00:32:53,136 Stupendous! 439 00:32:53,262 --> 00:32:55,305 - Does he know about us? - Know what, Marco? 440 00:32:55,765 --> 00:32:57,182 That I had you before him, 441 00:32:57,308 --> 00:32:59,768 that in bed you and I did everything you can do. 442 00:32:59,894 --> 00:33:01,687 You think so? 443 00:33:01,813 --> 00:33:04,773 My dear, I have some bad news for you! 444 00:33:06,442 --> 00:33:07,693 Come on, move it, Marco. 445 00:33:07,819 --> 00:33:10,028 I feel Iike going up to the tip of the Dogana. 446 00:33:10,154 --> 00:33:12,698 - Do you remember? - How could I forget? 447 00:33:37,306 --> 00:33:40,392 You're a habit, you. I need more and more. 448 00:33:40,518 --> 00:33:42,853 I used call you the Erector Set. 449 00:33:42,979 --> 00:33:45,355 You used to say my Erector Set. 450 00:33:45,481 --> 00:33:47,566 There's still the same stink of pee here as always. 451 00:33:47,692 --> 00:33:49,943 I bet with all the tourists, even the ladies take a leak. 452 00:33:50,069 --> 00:33:53,530 Spread your legs. I can't make any headway like that. 453 00:33:53,656 --> 00:33:55,907 You just don't have the technique you once did. 454 00:33:56,034 --> 00:33:58,744 No, you've just forgotten how to do it standing up. 455 00:34:00,955 --> 00:34:02,122 I was sure. 456 00:34:02,248 --> 00:34:04,791 Yes, her comments were quite uncalled-for. 457 00:34:04,917 --> 00:34:07,169 She's learned nothing after all these years. 458 00:34:11,966 --> 00:34:15,260 Hey, what is this? You're not going to leave me high and dry, are you? 459 00:34:15,386 --> 00:34:18,722 Let's go to my house. We can do it in style and comfort there. 460 00:34:18,848 --> 00:34:20,432 You mean Aunt Emma's penthouse. 461 00:34:20,558 --> 00:34:22,142 That house is mine! 462 00:34:22,268 --> 00:34:25,353 Oh, I've decided I'm not going back. I'll stay till tomorrow. 463 00:34:25,480 --> 00:34:28,398 I want to spend the first night in my house. 464 00:34:29,358 --> 00:34:30,776 Yeah, but I've got to get back home. 465 00:34:30,902 --> 00:34:32,736 We have these guests coming for dinner. 466 00:34:32,862 --> 00:34:36,406 Ah, as far as that goes, I told Paolo that I'd return tonight. 467 00:34:46,375 --> 00:34:48,794 No, Diana. I simply can't do it. I can't. 468 00:34:49,337 --> 00:34:51,797 No sweat, we'll make it for some other time. 469 00:34:51,923 --> 00:34:54,883 I'm going to make good use of my house in Venice, yeah! 470 00:34:56,511 --> 00:34:58,637 Marco, that's the ferry boat for the station. 471 00:34:58,763 --> 00:35:00,597 If you run you can make it! 472 00:35:00,723 --> 00:35:03,433 Listen, Diana. Do you swear you'll let me see the new house? 473 00:35:03,559 --> 00:35:05,310 Sure! 474 00:35:05,436 --> 00:35:07,229 I swear it. 475 00:35:07,355 --> 00:35:09,940 But you got to hurry. Hurry! 476 00:35:11,734 --> 00:35:15,445 So long! 477 00:39:48,010 --> 00:39:49,677 My God! 478 00:39:50,554 --> 00:39:53,056 Who would have expected this? 479 00:39:57,770 --> 00:39:59,521 You were a trull, Aunt Em! 480 00:40:11,075 --> 00:40:14,202 Well, it's sure to have cost you a lot of blowjobs, this penthouse! 481 00:40:17,123 --> 00:40:20,834 Darling Aunt Emma, you're just sensational! 482 00:40:23,712 --> 00:40:26,214 I love you more with every snapshot! 483 00:41:10,718 --> 00:41:14,345 I did promise Paolo I'd call. Wonder if the phone works? 484 00:41:34,492 --> 00:41:36,993 Donatien, Alphonse. 485 00:41:49,381 --> 00:41:50,757 'Allô, oui?' 486 00:41:50,883 --> 00:41:54,594 Morning, could I please speak with Alphonse Donatien? 487 00:41:54,720 --> 00:41:56,054 'C'est moi. ' 488 00:41:56,180 --> 00:41:58,598 Ah, you might not recall, 489 00:41:58,724 --> 00:42:02,227 Diana Bruni, you and I met at someone's house in Rome 490 00:42:02,353 --> 00:42:04,103 at the party to meet the poetess? 491 00:42:04,230 --> 00:42:07,398 'Ah, oui, the lovely lady I struck up a conversation with. 492 00:42:07,525 --> 00:42:08,983 'Where are you calling from?' 493 00:42:09,109 --> 00:42:12,862 Oh, Venice, I was left a small apartment that I'd like redecorated. 494 00:42:12,988 --> 00:42:14,614 'And that is why you thought of me?' 495 00:42:14,740 --> 00:42:17,492 Partly, after all, you said... 496 00:42:17,618 --> 00:42:20,286 'I'm delighted that you did! Let's talk about it, come on over. ' 497 00:42:20,412 --> 00:42:23,081 Come on over? Where? 498 00:42:23,207 --> 00:42:26,042 'To my place, right now. Palazzo Lorenzoni. It's easy to find. 499 00:42:26,168 --> 00:42:28,169 'Just two steps for the Embarcadero Ca' Rezzonico. ' 500 00:42:28,295 --> 00:42:30,380 I know Venice, I know where it is. 501 00:42:30,506 --> 00:42:33,591 - 'Then hurry, please!' - I'll be seeing you. 502 00:43:48,959 --> 00:43:50,710 Oh, it's cold! 503 00:45:03,742 --> 00:45:05,326 Welcome! 504 00:45:05,953 --> 00:45:08,204 - Bright star. - Hello. 505 00:45:08,330 --> 00:45:11,874 Er... haven't we already met somewhere? 506 00:45:12,000 --> 00:45:14,544 Flesh lies languid. 507 00:45:15,337 --> 00:45:18,089 The mouth has its own empiricist. 508 00:45:18,215 --> 00:45:22,135 Turgid, behind, it rejoices in the lacerated flesh. 509 00:45:24,179 --> 00:45:27,098 This is more than strange. It's preposterous. 510 00:45:28,475 --> 00:45:32,437 Go on in. Alphonse is waiting for you. 511 00:45:56,211 --> 00:45:58,921 STREET OF THE FUCKABLES 512 00:45:59,590 --> 00:46:01,132 Bonsoir! 513 00:46:02,384 --> 00:46:05,178 You found the place with very little effort, huh? 514 00:46:05,304 --> 00:46:06,679 Sure. 515 00:46:08,766 --> 00:46:11,517 You were with that poetess? 516 00:46:12,478 --> 00:46:13,895 Oh, oui. 517 00:46:14,021 --> 00:46:15,897 Just work. 518 00:46:16,023 --> 00:46:18,483 At this hour of the night? 519 00:46:19,193 --> 00:46:22,528 And you, didn't you come here for that? 520 00:46:26,617 --> 00:46:29,952 Ever since that night, it's been like this. 521 00:47:00,651 --> 00:47:02,443 The house of marvels? 522 00:47:02,569 --> 00:47:07,156 Wait till we go upstairs, then you'll see. 523 00:47:07,282 --> 00:47:11,285 - To paradise? - Inferno. My inferno. 524 00:47:25,050 --> 00:47:26,384 Uh-oh... 525 00:47:41,358 --> 00:47:43,025 Anytime... 526 00:47:43,151 --> 00:47:45,528 - Show me how to get there. - No, you go first. 527 00:47:46,196 --> 00:47:48,906 I want to admire your ass, ton cul. 528 00:48:07,676 --> 00:48:11,596 Is this all right? Or do you want to see more? 529 00:48:15,183 --> 00:48:17,602 Come on! Come get me! 530 00:48:50,636 --> 00:48:52,219 My word! 531 00:48:52,346 --> 00:48:54,972 It must have taken you quite some time to collect all of these. 532 00:48:55,098 --> 00:48:57,892 Oh, I started early, with that one! 533 00:49:00,228 --> 00:49:02,730 It's my ex-wife. 534 00:49:02,856 --> 00:49:05,650 It's a very expressive face, I find. 535 00:49:05,776 --> 00:49:07,485 Ah, oui. 536 00:49:07,611 --> 00:49:13,282 From her I learned that the physiognomy of a person is all in the nates! lci! 537 00:49:14,368 --> 00:49:16,619 This is a portrait gallery. 538 00:49:16,745 --> 00:49:20,373 You can distinguish the timid ass, the brave one, the stupid one, 539 00:49:20,499 --> 00:49:25,002 the clever, the intelligent, lazy, happy, sad, carefree. 540 00:49:25,128 --> 00:49:28,506 Everyone is the ass that he has. 541 00:49:28,632 --> 00:49:30,341 Oh. 542 00:49:34,596 --> 00:49:35,972 So what am I? 543 00:49:37,015 --> 00:49:38,516 Voyons... 544 00:49:45,190 --> 00:49:47,984 Headstrong, willful and disobedient. 545 00:49:49,444 --> 00:49:53,698 But still a little uptight, closed, introverted. 546 00:49:54,783 --> 00:49:56,742 Am I hopeless, Doc? 547 00:49:57,703 --> 00:49:59,829 Not if you can play by the rules. 548 00:49:59,955 --> 00:50:01,831 Let's hear the rules. 549 00:50:01,957 --> 00:50:05,626 You must follow orders and do for me everything I want. 550 00:50:05,752 --> 00:50:08,087 If you cry out, I stop. 551 00:50:08,213 --> 00:50:10,840 Everything, at your command? 552 00:50:10,966 --> 00:50:12,425 Right. 553 00:50:12,551 --> 00:50:15,052 - Down on all fours, over there. - Why? 554 00:50:15,178 --> 00:50:19,140 Oh, it's because the game has already started, and you know it! 555 00:51:34,049 --> 00:51:35,883 Feel him! 556 00:51:36,009 --> 00:51:40,137 No... oh, how strong and proud! 557 00:51:40,263 --> 00:51:43,099 - It's gonna hurt me, isn't it? - Cry out and I'll stop! 558 00:51:43,225 --> 00:51:45,601 It's up to you. 559 00:52:03,078 --> 00:52:04,745 I'm so scared! 560 00:52:04,871 --> 00:52:06,664 Do what I tell you... 561 00:52:07,415 --> 00:52:08,916 and it will all be natural. 562 00:52:09,042 --> 00:52:10,751 Breathe deep! 563 00:52:10,877 --> 00:52:13,379 As if you were in child birth, in labour. 564 00:52:13,505 --> 00:52:15,881 Breathe with me! 565 00:52:28,103 --> 00:52:29,937 Good. 566 00:52:32,315 --> 00:52:33,941 Come on! 567 00:52:38,405 --> 00:52:41,574 - Was that a scream, Diana? - No. I broke through the canvas, though. 568 00:52:41,700 --> 00:52:46,328 Oh, don't worry. C'estpas grave. I'll have it restored. 569 00:52:55,172 --> 00:52:57,840 L'enculeur... du monde! 570 00:53:05,557 --> 00:53:07,808 'Happy banging I say!' 571 00:53:10,061 --> 00:53:11,520 A FRIAR ONCE TOLD ME 572 00:53:11,646 --> 00:53:13,939 ONE OF HIS BIGGEST PLEASURES WAS TO MAKE A WOMAN BELIEVE 573 00:53:14,065 --> 00:53:15,941 THAT HER ASS WAS NOT MADE FOR SHITTING 574 00:53:16,067 --> 00:53:18,152 NO, HER ASS WAS SO DIVINE AND PRECIOUS 575 00:53:18,278 --> 00:53:20,654 AND COULD MAKE MEN HAPPY AND THUS AVOID ADULTERY 576 00:53:31,416 --> 00:53:33,250 Incredible. 577 00:53:34,669 --> 00:53:37,087 That fur piece was still hanging up in the closet. 578 00:53:37,631 --> 00:53:39,465 I found some snapshots, too. 579 00:53:39,591 --> 00:53:42,927 Dear old Aunt Emma. Who would ever have guessed? 580 00:53:43,053 --> 00:53:45,638 The apartment is still just the way you see it there. 581 00:53:45,764 --> 00:53:47,890 Nothing's changed at all. 582 00:53:48,683 --> 00:53:50,309 It's mind-boggling, you know? 583 00:53:50,435 --> 00:53:54,021 You should see the view out the window, the whole skyline of Venice. 584 00:53:54,147 --> 00:53:57,358 For a young couple in love that place is Paradise. 585 00:53:57,484 --> 00:53:59,443 - Yeah, we put it up for rent. - What? 586 00:53:59,569 --> 00:54:01,904 I was going to keep it for the two of us. 587 00:54:02,030 --> 00:54:04,031 We're a young couple in love. 588 00:54:04,157 --> 00:54:06,450 - Aren't we, darling? - Uh-huh. 589 00:54:56,209 --> 00:54:58,419 That's something new - you've shaved. 590 00:54:58,545 --> 00:55:00,879 I've just indented the margins a little. 591 00:55:01,006 --> 00:55:04,675 I have to be a demure and virtuous lady. After all, I'm an heiress. 592 00:55:05,468 --> 00:55:07,011 That'll be the day, oh yeah! 593 00:55:07,762 --> 00:55:09,722 What an insult! 594 00:55:13,059 --> 00:55:15,978 Auntie Emma got you excited, huh? 595 00:55:17,856 --> 00:55:21,817 - I guess I shouId be jealous. - I'm the one who ought to be jealous! 596 00:55:21,943 --> 00:55:24,737 Tell me the truth, your cousin came over to see the apartment, didn't he? 597 00:55:24,863 --> 00:55:27,072 Of course he came over. 598 00:55:27,198 --> 00:55:29,658 Marco wouldn't let a chance like that go by. 599 00:55:29,784 --> 00:55:31,368 Did he make a pass at you? 600 00:55:31,494 --> 00:55:35,998 Well, he began to talk about when the two of us used to go out together. 601 00:55:36,124 --> 00:55:37,708 Tell me. 602 00:55:37,834 --> 00:55:40,502 We'd go up to the tip of the Dogana, 603 00:55:40,628 --> 00:55:43,672 and he'd touch my little flower under my skirt, 604 00:55:43,798 --> 00:55:47,259 - and I'd put my hand on him. - Show me how you did it. 605 00:55:50,805 --> 00:55:53,766 Careful there, that meat's delicate! 606 00:55:54,434 --> 00:55:56,769 He'd grab my head and get it right down, 607 00:55:56,895 --> 00:55:59,229 cos he wanted me to take it in the mouth. 608 00:55:59,356 --> 00:56:00,773 What did you do? 609 00:56:00,899 --> 00:56:03,609 Well, I put up a struggle, of course, 610 00:56:03,735 --> 00:56:05,611 but always a very brief one. 611 00:56:06,529 --> 00:56:09,365 And did you do it again yesterday, in your apartment on the Giudecca? 612 00:56:09,491 --> 00:56:11,325 Mm-hmm. 613 00:56:35,100 --> 00:56:37,351 Great fantasies you've got. 614 00:56:38,061 --> 00:56:39,561 - Oh yeah? - Mm-hmm. 615 00:56:39,687 --> 00:56:41,605 I know you and Marco didn't do a thing, right? 616 00:56:41,731 --> 00:56:43,148 One for you. 617 00:56:43,274 --> 00:56:46,026 I decided to take advantage of good old Alphonse instead. 618 00:56:46,778 --> 00:56:48,779 Another gent? Who is he? 619 00:56:48,905 --> 00:56:51,323 That French guy at the party who I danced with. 620 00:56:52,283 --> 00:56:54,827 I bet you inaugurated the apartment like that, huh? 621 00:56:54,953 --> 00:56:57,746 No, at his place. 622 00:56:57,872 --> 00:57:00,165 Beautiful decor. 623 00:57:00,291 --> 00:57:02,918 OK, give me the details. Come on, come on. 624 00:57:03,670 --> 00:57:05,963 He was crazy for my ass. 625 00:57:06,089 --> 00:57:08,632 He had to have it, no matter what. 626 00:57:08,758 --> 00:57:11,343 I couldn't have avoided it even if I'd wanted to. 627 00:57:12,178 --> 00:57:15,681 He spread my ass and started licking my crack, down and up. 628 00:57:16,391 --> 00:57:18,559 But it isn't so painful. 629 00:57:18,685 --> 00:57:20,936 I could be persuaded. 630 00:57:23,148 --> 00:57:27,568 - And did you... ? - Did I? Like an express train! 631 00:57:30,572 --> 00:57:33,157 What's the matter? Why do you want me to stop? 632 00:57:33,741 --> 00:57:35,242 - Who gave that hickey to you? - Huh? 633 00:57:35,368 --> 00:57:38,036 - That hickey on your neck! - I don't know what you mean. 634 00:57:38,163 --> 00:57:41,165 I thought you were making up one of your stories, but you really did it! 635 00:57:41,291 --> 00:57:43,625 No, please, let me explain. Listen to me! 636 00:57:43,751 --> 00:57:45,961 No, it isn't a fantasy this time. He fucked you! 637 00:57:46,087 --> 00:57:47,463 That bastard prick fucked you! 638 00:57:47,589 --> 00:57:50,799 No, Paolo, I swear it. He didn't fuck me at all! 639 00:57:50,925 --> 00:57:52,176 I took it up the ass. 640 00:58:19,704 --> 00:58:22,789 Please, darling, don't pout. 641 00:58:22,916 --> 00:58:26,001 - Better to talk it over, huh? - Get away from me! 642 00:58:26,127 --> 00:58:29,546 We've always had a good laugh over my little affairs. 643 00:58:30,340 --> 00:58:33,008 You told me they made you horny. You liked that just swell. 644 00:58:33,134 --> 00:58:34,801 Because they weren't true! 645 00:58:34,928 --> 00:58:37,387 There's no difference, it doesn't matter in the least. 646 00:58:37,514 --> 00:58:40,015 I'm really only yours. 647 00:58:40,141 --> 00:58:42,893 Is it so naughty if I make it with somebody else? 648 00:58:43,019 --> 00:58:46,188 I mean it's all... happy banging, right? 649 00:58:46,314 --> 00:58:50,609 No, no, count me out! I don't want any part of your happy banging! 650 00:58:50,735 --> 00:58:53,362 I guess it seems like the end of the world to you right now, 651 00:58:53,488 --> 00:58:55,989 but you'll see, tomorrow... 652 00:58:57,659 --> 00:58:59,701 Don't get near me. 653 00:58:59,827 --> 00:59:01,912 We're history, the past. 654 00:59:02,038 --> 00:59:04,039 There never will be a tomorrow for us. 655 00:59:10,088 --> 00:59:14,466 I'm not going to share my marriage bed with someone like you, you slut! 656 00:59:21,015 --> 00:59:22,683 I shouldn't be surprised after all. 657 00:59:22,809 --> 00:59:26,228 Blood will tell, but yours should be spilled! 658 01:00:16,863 --> 01:00:18,822 Hey, you look all queer. 659 01:00:18,948 --> 01:00:21,700 - Thanks to Paolo. Big fight. - Beyond repair? 660 01:00:21,826 --> 01:00:24,494 Well, he wants a separation. 661 01:00:24,621 --> 01:00:26,872 No kidding! Another woman? 662 01:00:26,998 --> 01:00:29,833 No, something other than that. A man. 663 01:00:29,959 --> 01:00:32,002 - Paolo? - No, me! 664 01:00:32,128 --> 01:00:33,545 It was a guy in Venice. 665 01:00:33,671 --> 01:00:36,840 Oh, really! You know, you had me scared. 666 01:00:37,675 --> 01:00:40,218 Turns are up! Let me get these broads outta here. 667 01:00:40,345 --> 01:00:41,553 Head for the showers! 668 01:00:41,679 --> 01:00:44,306 OK, I want to hear all the details. 669 01:00:47,018 --> 01:00:49,936 - Woo! - Don't do that. 670 01:00:52,857 --> 01:00:56,193 Why in God's name did you tell him? That's just asking for it. 671 01:00:56,319 --> 01:00:58,403 Well, we were only joking around. 672 01:00:58,529 --> 01:01:01,323 It was just what they call a zipless fuck anyway. 673 01:01:04,827 --> 01:01:07,371 Are you simply a slut or just dumb? 674 01:01:07,497 --> 01:01:11,750 All men are really stupid pigs, oily and nasty. 675 01:01:11,876 --> 01:01:13,377 The rule is to deny. 676 01:01:13,503 --> 01:01:15,879 Deny everything in the face of the evidence. 677 01:01:16,005 --> 01:01:18,715 Oh, they all preach equality of the sexes, you can bet on it. 678 01:01:18,841 --> 01:01:22,052 But no one practises it. They're worms, all of them. 679 01:01:22,178 --> 01:01:24,054 I don't want it to end up like this. 680 01:01:24,180 --> 01:01:26,973 I was alone in bed last night and couldn't sleep a wink. 681 01:01:27,100 --> 01:01:29,226 The best thing is to get a fresh male bod in there. 682 01:01:29,352 --> 01:01:30,727 Who does Paolo think he is? 683 01:01:30,853 --> 01:01:31,895 It's really simple. 684 01:01:32,021 --> 01:01:35,857 No woman can be satisfied through the 360-degree circle. 685 01:01:35,983 --> 01:01:39,736 Not by one man - each man has his own different taste. 686 01:01:39,862 --> 01:01:41,530 And a girl needs to taste a lot. 687 01:01:41,656 --> 01:01:43,365 You prattle and blather, 688 01:01:43,491 --> 01:01:46,076 but the truth is, you got kicked out by your husband, Nadia. 689 01:01:46,202 --> 01:01:47,661 What's that? Please, kid, 690 01:01:47,787 --> 01:01:50,747 there's a black and blue ass in this story all right, but it's his. 691 01:01:50,873 --> 01:01:53,792 No, no, no, come on, that's farcical. 692 01:01:53,918 --> 01:01:57,879 Listen, I'll walk humble, only I must get him back, that's all. 693 01:01:58,005 --> 01:02:00,340 - And you're gonna help me. - Just how, my dear? 694 01:02:00,466 --> 01:02:03,468 Have a chat with him. Show him he's wrong. 695 01:02:03,594 --> 01:02:07,013 - Make him listen to reason. - Brilliant of you! 696 01:02:07,640 --> 01:02:10,517 He has to realise that the others just don't count. 697 01:02:11,227 --> 01:02:12,853 And if he won't listen to me? 698 01:02:12,979 --> 01:02:15,856 No, he trusts you. He thinks a lot of you. 699 01:02:15,982 --> 01:02:17,399 Please, Nadia. 700 01:02:20,153 --> 01:02:21,862 Do I have carte blanche? 701 01:02:21,988 --> 01:02:24,156 Just how do you... how do you mean? 702 01:02:25,074 --> 01:02:26,742 Look, it's white! 703 01:02:26,868 --> 01:02:29,286 Oh my God, I'm getting a grizzled cooze! 704 01:02:29,412 --> 01:02:32,372 Anyway, you get carte blanche. 705 01:02:32,498 --> 01:02:35,459 OK, then I think I'll just pop on over at lunch break. 706 01:02:35,585 --> 01:02:38,837 Thanks, Nadia. I knew I'd be able to count on you. 707 01:02:38,963 --> 01:02:40,756 Mind if I have a shower as long as I'm here? 708 01:02:40,882 --> 01:02:44,676 I was in such a big rush getting out this morning, I didn't even take a bidet. 709 01:02:44,802 --> 01:02:46,136 That should never happen. 710 01:02:46,262 --> 01:02:48,805 If you must, put off washing your face, chum. 711 01:02:48,931 --> 01:02:51,516 But before leaving, always take a bidet. 712 01:02:52,310 --> 01:02:54,519 You never know what might be coming up. 713 01:03:46,823 --> 01:03:48,740 Yeah? Ah, it's you. 714 01:03:48,866 --> 01:03:50,742 Yeah, yeah, sure, of course. 715 01:04:13,558 --> 01:04:16,935 Hi. I'm glad you came. I could really use your advice. 716 01:04:17,061 --> 01:04:19,229 Hmm... That's true. 717 01:04:19,981 --> 01:04:22,691 - Turd! - I don't... Why? 718 01:04:22,817 --> 01:04:25,193 There's a terrific girl you're treating like scum. 719 01:04:25,319 --> 01:04:28,113 - You don't know what she did to me! - I certainly do. 720 01:04:28,239 --> 01:04:30,198 I just don't see where it's such a tragedy. 721 01:04:30,324 --> 01:04:32,951 Well, how should I have handled it? Give her a medal? 722 01:04:33,077 --> 01:04:34,744 There was no need to do anything. 723 01:04:34,871 --> 01:04:37,706 Look. You've got the most wonderful girl in the world. 724 01:04:37,832 --> 01:04:40,792 She's classy, she's great. Worships you. 725 01:04:40,918 --> 01:04:42,961 So why do you stifle her joie de vivre? 726 01:04:43,087 --> 01:04:46,381 Because wives are supposed to make love with their husbands, nobody else. 727 01:04:46,507 --> 01:04:48,091 You dumb-ass moron! 728 01:04:48,217 --> 01:04:50,385 We're talking about a little affair of no importance. 729 01:04:50,511 --> 01:04:52,679 You can't say that marriage encompasses the universe, 730 01:04:52,805 --> 01:04:55,557 or that you represent men of all types. 731 01:04:56,559 --> 01:05:00,520 We're not back in the time of your mother and your father, take a look! 732 01:05:02,398 --> 01:05:05,400 - Would you like Diana to be like her? - No, of course not. 733 01:05:05,526 --> 01:05:08,945 And anyway I'm the beaten-down one around here. 734 01:05:09,071 --> 01:05:10,739 What can I do about it? I'm jealous! 735 01:05:10,865 --> 01:05:12,866 Ah, the facts come out in the light. 736 01:05:12,992 --> 01:05:16,328 The real trouble is you're jealous. It's absurd and useless. 737 01:05:16,454 --> 01:05:17,913 There's no kind of sense to it. 738 01:05:18,456 --> 01:05:21,541 Paolo, I could understand your misery, if she were tired of you. 739 01:05:21,667 --> 01:05:25,545 But no siree. She just wants minimal liberty, sex-wise. 740 01:05:25,671 --> 01:05:28,006 Just the thing you've always had, you bum. 741 01:05:28,132 --> 01:05:31,760 That's what's so horrible! The thought that she laughs with someone else. 742 01:05:31,886 --> 01:05:34,220 That she uses the same little love words as she does with me! 743 01:05:34,347 --> 01:05:36,765 Who's to know? She might even come! 744 01:05:36,891 --> 01:05:39,059 No, no, it's more than I can stand, Nadia. 745 01:05:39,185 --> 01:05:40,644 It's killing me. 746 01:05:40,770 --> 01:05:43,480 I'm beginning to feel there's a time-bomb inside of me. 747 01:05:49,195 --> 01:05:52,197 A few minutes ago I was asleep and dreaming that I was with Diana. 748 01:05:52,323 --> 01:05:56,451 It was a nightmare. I tell you, I'm going... I'm going nuts. 749 01:05:57,036 --> 01:05:59,371 I'm with you, Paolo. I'll prove it, if you like. 750 01:05:59,497 --> 01:06:02,290 I'm very moved. Really, Paolo. 751 01:06:02,416 --> 01:06:05,251 Here. Touch me. 752 01:06:06,629 --> 01:06:08,755 Can't you tell how I feel for you? 753 01:06:11,634 --> 01:06:16,388 If you only knew how many times I wanted to feel your hands on me. 754 01:06:18,349 --> 01:06:19,975 Lie down. 755 01:06:25,272 --> 01:06:29,109 Oh, goody. I'm glad to see I don't turn you off. 756 01:06:33,739 --> 01:06:36,449 Don't worry. Really, I mean it. 757 01:06:37,243 --> 01:06:39,869 Nobody's gonna see any jealous scenes. 758 01:06:40,871 --> 01:06:46,001 Diana doesn't mind at all. She gave me carte blanche. 759 01:06:46,127 --> 01:06:49,504 Diana? No, no, no, quit it! 760 01:06:50,381 --> 01:06:52,674 - I don't want you. I want Diana! - Bullshit! 761 01:06:52,800 --> 01:06:54,843 Your cock is calling you a liar! 762 01:06:54,969 --> 01:06:58,304 Poor Diana thought her guy was different. 763 01:06:58,431 --> 01:07:01,433 No way! You're all alike. 764 01:07:01,559 --> 01:07:03,935 Prey to your old-fashioned, stupid ideas. 765 01:07:04,061 --> 01:07:07,355 Honour, virtuousness, betrayal. 766 01:07:07,481 --> 01:07:10,984 And a girl who's liberated is just a slut, right? 767 01:07:11,110 --> 01:07:14,070 Try to understand, Nadia. I can't, I won't. 768 01:07:14,196 --> 01:07:16,656 And if I did, it would be like admitting Diana was right. 769 01:07:16,782 --> 01:07:19,743 She is, you imbecile! She's very right. 770 01:07:19,869 --> 01:07:23,496 Fighting it is no use. You silly bastard! 771 01:07:30,171 --> 01:07:33,882 I guess the trouble is you're a... faggot, honey! 772 01:07:34,341 --> 01:07:36,009 Your panties. 773 01:07:41,015 --> 01:07:43,433 I've met assholes before, but men take the cake! 774 01:07:43,559 --> 01:07:47,896 Here's hell to husbands in general, and ours in particular! 775 01:07:50,274 --> 01:07:53,401 Hey, chin up, little sister. We're out to enjoy life tonight. 776 01:07:53,527 --> 01:07:55,403 Shorten up that long face! 777 01:08:00,993 --> 01:08:04,037 My, would you look at him. Sex on the hoof! 778 01:08:04,163 --> 01:08:06,623 Not bad. Let's take pot luck. 779 01:08:14,131 --> 01:08:17,175 - Hey, stud, come here a minute! - Who, me? 780 01:08:17,301 --> 01:08:19,177 I wonder if you could give me some information. 781 01:08:19,303 --> 01:08:20,762 Sure, what? 782 01:08:20,888 --> 01:08:22,597 How are you hung? 783 01:08:22,723 --> 01:08:26,142 What the fuck! Come back here, you cunt! 784 01:08:26,268 --> 01:08:28,144 Just don't let me catch you! 785 01:08:29,188 --> 01:08:30,855 Hi, girls! 786 01:08:32,900 --> 01:08:34,859 Holy mother of God! 787 01:08:35,611 --> 01:08:38,822 - What a piece of ass! - Can't you tell that's a transvestite? 788 01:08:38,948 --> 01:08:41,032 Hey, sweetheart, are you carrying a dong or not? 789 01:08:41,158 --> 01:08:42,909 - You're goddam right. - Display, please! 790 01:08:43,828 --> 01:08:47,914 You got it, but what do you do with it? It's mighty fine. 791 01:08:48,040 --> 01:08:49,833 I can stick it in your ass, if you like. 792 01:08:49,959 --> 01:08:52,043 Or I might stick this thing in yours. 793 01:08:52,878 --> 01:08:54,629 Cool with me, 20 bills. 794 01:08:54,755 --> 01:08:56,965 - Fuck you. - No, asshole, fuck you! 795 01:08:57,091 --> 01:09:01,094 I said it first, you ugly, pimping, bull-dyke bitch! 796 01:09:01,220 --> 01:09:04,055 You fucking bitches, I'll get you! 797 01:09:04,932 --> 01:09:06,808 When we feel like living it up, where do we go? 798 01:09:06,934 --> 01:09:08,268 I know a disco, yeah! 799 01:09:08,394 --> 01:09:10,311 We can do better than that, Mother Superior. 800 01:09:10,437 --> 01:09:12,105 We'll go to a place where anything can happen. 801 01:09:12,231 --> 01:09:14,899 - Even the worst? - If you get lucky. 802 01:09:28,164 --> 01:09:30,248 ♪ Everybody fuck now 803 01:09:31,125 --> 01:09:32,667 ♪ Come on, let's fuck 804 01:09:33,544 --> 01:09:35,253 ♪ Baby 805 01:09:35,379 --> 01:09:36,838 ♪ Let my pussy take control 806 01:09:37,506 --> 01:09:39,465 ♪ Let my juices move you 807 01:09:39,592 --> 01:09:43,094 ♪ Fuck 808 01:09:43,220 --> 01:09:45,096 ♪ Let my pussy take control 809 01:09:45,222 --> 01:09:47,056 ♪ Let my juices move you 810 01:09:47,183 --> 01:09:50,768 ♪ Everybody 811 01:09:50,895 --> 01:09:53,271 ♪ Everybody, everybody 812 01:09:54,815 --> 01:09:56,524 ♪ All you bitches 813 01:09:56,650 --> 01:09:58,484 ♪ All you brothers 814 01:09:58,611 --> 01:10:02,947 ♪ Everybody, everybody, everybody suck some cock up 815 01:10:04,617 --> 01:10:06,075 ♪ Fuck all through the night 816 01:10:08,370 --> 01:10:18,838 ♪ Everybody fuck now 817 01:10:19,840 --> 01:10:21,090 ♪ Everybody 818 01:10:21,217 --> 01:10:22,926 ♪ Come on, let's fuck 819 01:10:23,552 --> 01:10:24,886 ♪ Baby 820 01:10:25,471 --> 01:10:27,055 ♪ Let my pussy take control 821 01:10:27,598 --> 01:10:29,515 ♪ Let the juices move you 822 01:10:36,273 --> 01:10:38,107 ♪ Let my pussy take control 823 01:10:38,234 --> 01:10:40,318 ♪ Let my juices move you... ♪ 824 01:10:44,156 --> 01:10:46,199 Hey, just a minute. I don't... 825 01:10:49,495 --> 01:10:50,745 Hey, girls! 826 01:12:02,234 --> 01:12:04,235 I'd like something strong. What do you have? 827 01:12:04,361 --> 01:12:06,863 Try a 'Delirium'. It'll make a corpse dance. 828 01:12:06,989 --> 01:12:08,740 That's right up my alley. 829 01:12:11,952 --> 01:12:13,870 - What's in it? - Ecstasy. 830 01:13:09,426 --> 01:13:12,261 Excuse me, could you give me some information? 831 01:13:12,388 --> 01:13:14,097 What size are you carrying? 832 01:13:14,223 --> 01:13:18,351 You shouldn't have to ask. The two of you already met each other! 833 01:13:18,477 --> 01:13:22,480 The seminarian! I had a white collar on, in the streetcar. 834 01:13:22,606 --> 01:13:24,273 Gosh, yeah. 835 01:13:24,400 --> 01:13:25,900 Only why are you here? 836 01:13:26,026 --> 01:13:27,318 I'm doing my research. 837 01:13:27,444 --> 01:13:29,946 How can I do a thesis about sin, and not know what it is? 838 01:13:30,072 --> 01:13:31,864 Viens avec moi! 839 01:13:45,796 --> 01:13:48,965 Oh God, I'm gonna scream! Shriek, bellow! 840 01:13:49,800 --> 01:13:53,094 Ah, I never met a tongue with a hard-on, you're great! 841 01:15:28,690 --> 01:15:31,400 - Is something the matter? - No. 842 01:15:32,277 --> 01:15:34,070 Nothing at all. 843 01:16:29,376 --> 01:16:31,127 How's it going? 844 01:16:31,253 --> 01:16:33,129 I'm minus underpants! 845 01:16:38,135 --> 01:16:40,386 Give me one of those drinks! 846 01:16:59,281 --> 01:17:02,158 Hello? Ah, yeah. What's the news? 847 01:17:02,284 --> 01:17:04,577 No! Shit, no! Back off! 848 01:17:05,078 --> 01:17:07,371 I don't give a fuck about any guarantee. 849 01:17:07,497 --> 01:17:10,374 Just get me the fucking money quick, or it's your ass! 850 01:17:16,006 --> 01:17:18,049 - 'Hello? Who is it?' - It's Diana. 851 01:17:18,175 --> 01:17:21,927 - 'You at a party?' - Oh, yeah. It's great fun, fantastic! 852 01:17:22,054 --> 01:17:25,723 'Diana, it's 4:00am and you're pissed. Come back home. ' 853 01:17:25,849 --> 01:17:29,852 - 'Who's there with you?' - A wild boy. Oh, wow! 854 01:17:30,937 --> 01:17:33,147 A bunch of fabulous men. 855 01:17:33,273 --> 01:17:36,275 It's Paolo, guys! Say hi! 856 01:17:37,194 --> 01:17:39,195 Hi, Paolo! 857 01:17:39,946 --> 01:17:42,073 How's it sound, dear? 858 01:17:42,199 --> 01:17:43,616 'Stop it! 859 01:17:43,742 --> 01:17:46,077 'I forbid you! I'm your husband!' 860 01:17:46,203 --> 01:17:49,830 Nah, you know who you are? You're a dumb, stupid asshole! 861 01:17:49,956 --> 01:17:53,709 And this girl's liberated. I mean, I can screw the whole planet! 862 01:17:53,835 --> 01:17:56,796 And not only that, I might not ever come home. 863 01:17:56,922 --> 01:17:59,507 'Come back or not, who gives a shit, you won't find me anyway. 864 01:17:59,633 --> 01:18:01,550 'I'm getting my ass outta here. I've had it. 865 01:18:01,677 --> 01:18:03,969 'I'll move in with my parents today. 866 01:18:04,096 --> 01:18:06,764 'You understand what I'm saying? I'm leaving!' 867 01:18:06,890 --> 01:18:08,849 Fine, fine, fine! 868 01:18:09,893 --> 01:18:13,187 I can't believe I ever sucked your cock, you shitface! 869 01:18:13,313 --> 01:18:17,983 So, hurry on to little mama, and... and screw her! 870 01:18:21,905 --> 01:18:23,364 Hey, you need some help? 871 01:18:43,051 --> 01:18:46,011 - Have you had it with the party? - Yeah, he's gonna give me a lift. 872 01:18:46,138 --> 01:18:49,473 It's almost dawn, and besides, I'm worried. 873 01:18:49,599 --> 01:18:52,143 Paolo's threatening to move out. 874 01:18:52,269 --> 01:18:55,020 Ah, come on, never! He's too in love, that boy. 875 01:18:55,147 --> 01:18:57,064 - I'm leaving. - Fine, great. 876 01:18:57,190 --> 01:18:58,774 I'll stay a little more. 877 01:18:58,900 --> 01:19:01,527 I've found a hero of the Resistance! 878 01:19:51,411 --> 01:19:53,788 'Think of what you're doing, Diana. Think of us. 879 01:19:53,914 --> 01:19:55,581 'I love you, Paolo. 880 01:19:55,707 --> 01:19:58,334 'PS But do you love me?' 881 01:20:03,298 --> 01:20:05,841 'Dear Marikla, not only do I love him, 882 01:20:06,593 --> 01:20:09,804 'but in my own way I feel that I'm a faithful wife. 883 01:20:09,930 --> 01:20:12,765 'Going with other men doesn't mean I'm betraying him. 884 01:20:12,891 --> 01:20:16,310 'Those are just casual flings of no importance at all. 885 01:20:17,562 --> 01:20:19,980 'They're great for a quick thrill, 886 01:20:20,106 --> 01:20:23,692 'but they have nothing at all to do with that mixture of body and soul, 887 01:20:23,819 --> 01:20:28,030 'that makes my relationship with Paolo beautiful and unique. 888 01:20:28,156 --> 01:20:33,619 'That's why I have no guilt feelings, no contrition, no remorse. 889 01:20:33,745 --> 01:20:37,331 'That's why I don't want the love we share to finish like this. 890 01:20:38,667 --> 01:20:42,920 'But how do I go about making him understand that? Diana. ' 891 01:20:55,934 --> 01:20:58,352 COLUMN: CONFESS ALL TO MARIKLA 892 01:20:58,478 --> 01:21:01,355 'Feelings - Milan. ' 893 01:21:16,162 --> 01:21:18,205 Hey, Sara! Come here! 894 01:21:41,146 --> 01:21:43,105 Want some? I just caught them. 895 01:21:44,274 --> 01:21:46,567 No. I hate them. 896 01:21:47,444 --> 01:21:48,736 Feel bad, huh? 897 01:21:49,446 --> 01:21:51,614 Just think, you could be between Diana's legs right now, 898 01:21:51,740 --> 01:21:53,532 instead of sitting here eating your heart out. 899 01:21:53,658 --> 01:21:55,326 What are you getting out of it? 900 01:21:55,452 --> 01:21:56,577 Nothing! 901 01:21:56,703 --> 01:21:58,662 Bullshit! You got a hard-on. 902 01:21:59,539 --> 01:22:01,457 He's a goddamn traitor! 903 01:22:03,043 --> 01:22:06,462 No, no way. I'll tell you. Trouble is, he's smarter than you. 904 01:22:06,588 --> 01:22:09,757 He's got his priorities straight, he knows she gives you everything with love. 905 01:22:09,883 --> 01:22:12,968 He feels that you're acting like a bit of an asshole. 906 01:22:13,094 --> 01:22:15,971 Yes, because actually, you should approve of her. 907 01:22:16,097 --> 01:22:18,599 Yeah, you know what that means? That he's a prick! 908 01:22:18,725 --> 01:22:20,267 Thank God! 909 01:22:20,393 --> 01:22:23,270 Anyway what good is it to destroy yourself with jealousy? 910 01:22:23,396 --> 01:22:25,898 Develop a sense of irony and have a laugh about it. 911 01:22:26,566 --> 01:22:28,233 With Diana. 912 01:22:28,944 --> 01:22:31,570 - Hey there! - Dig up any clams yet? 913 01:22:38,286 --> 01:22:42,581 Hey, I think we should be going. They must be looking for us. 914 01:22:44,876 --> 01:22:47,294 - Come on, this way. - Hey, wait for me. 915 01:22:47,420 --> 01:22:50,673 - Come on, dinner's ready. - Wait! I'm coming! 916 01:22:59,224 --> 01:23:01,058 Yes? Who's there? 917 01:23:01,184 --> 01:23:04,186 Hello? Please fuck yourself in the ear. 918 01:23:04,312 --> 01:23:07,982 - Who was that? - Oh, one of my anonymous admirers. 919 01:23:08,108 --> 01:23:10,359 That's the second time today they've hung up. 920 01:23:10,485 --> 01:23:14,530 He'll come back, don't worry. Husbands always do, more's the pity! 921 01:23:18,535 --> 01:23:20,869 Hello? Paolo? 922 01:23:20,996 --> 01:23:23,038 Well, somebody's breathing. 923 01:23:24,499 --> 01:23:26,667 Paolo? Is that you? 924 01:23:26,793 --> 01:23:28,877 Can't you say some little thing? 925 01:23:29,838 --> 01:23:32,715 You're still hoping! What does he have, this guy, that's so special? 926 01:23:33,550 --> 01:23:36,677 Well, I love him, there's something special. 927 01:23:36,803 --> 01:23:38,804 But he won't try to understand me. 928 01:23:38,930 --> 01:23:42,725 It's his fault for not understanding that faithfulness is unnatural. 929 01:23:43,309 --> 01:23:45,811 Yeah, yeah. But anyhow he's gone. 930 01:23:47,063 --> 01:23:49,898 - Oh my God, there he is now! - Who, Paolo? 931 01:23:50,025 --> 01:23:54,111 No, not Paolo, it's that Commodore Scarfatti with his latest piece, er... niece! 932 01:23:54,237 --> 01:23:56,071 That man is so butch I just can't bear him. 933 01:23:56,197 --> 01:23:59,033 Fine, I'll take the commission. 934 01:24:00,785 --> 01:24:03,537 Hello, Commodore. Nice to see you again. 935 01:24:03,663 --> 01:24:06,457 My dear Antonietta. 936 01:24:06,583 --> 01:24:08,584 This is my long-lost niece, Maria. 937 01:24:08,710 --> 01:24:11,003 Well, your family's remarkable. 938 01:24:11,129 --> 01:24:14,882 - All the nieces are so pretty. - Good chromosomes. 939 01:24:15,008 --> 01:24:17,051 I've told Maria all about your things. 940 01:24:17,177 --> 01:24:19,386 She wants some styles that are truly intimate. 941 01:24:19,512 --> 01:24:23,390 - You do get my meaning? - I certainly do, Commodore. 942 01:24:24,934 --> 01:24:28,604 Now, let's see what we can find. White, red, black? 943 01:24:28,730 --> 01:24:31,440 Miss, what do you prefer? 944 01:24:31,566 --> 01:24:34,401 What do you think, Uncle? 945 01:24:34,527 --> 01:24:39,865 I must ask Antonietta how she feels about it. 946 01:24:39,991 --> 01:24:44,036 Well, I always say there's nothing like black, myself. 947 01:24:44,162 --> 01:24:46,663 When a person has a light complexion like your niece, 948 01:24:46,790 --> 01:24:48,832 the effect is sensational. 949 01:24:48,958 --> 01:24:52,419 Unless, obviously, Maria is tanned... here! 950 01:24:53,046 --> 01:24:54,880 Oh, not here, no, never! 951 01:24:55,006 --> 01:24:58,258 We'll just try a few of these on now. OK, Commodore? 952 01:24:58,384 --> 01:25:00,302 Yes. That's fine. 953 01:25:40,844 --> 01:25:44,429 Uncle, I don't feel this is right for me, come take a look. 954 01:25:44,556 --> 01:25:46,849 If you knew how I feel! 955 01:25:55,525 --> 01:25:58,527 Let's see. Hmm, looks a little loose. 956 01:25:58,653 --> 01:26:01,572 - You think? - Would you be so kind as to show us? 957 01:26:01,698 --> 01:26:04,074 Of course, Commodore, whatever you like. 958 01:26:06,953 --> 01:26:10,122 - Ah-ha... - Now do you see what I mean? 959 01:26:10,248 --> 01:26:12,583 It's disgraceful to take advantage of a young lady like that. 960 01:26:12,709 --> 01:26:15,002 Well, I'm sorry to disappoint you. 961 01:26:16,254 --> 01:26:19,464 - Unkie! - All right, panties next. 962 01:26:19,591 --> 01:26:22,384 That little lady is older than time. 963 01:26:22,510 --> 01:26:25,304 - Down, down. - She knows just what she wants. 964 01:26:26,181 --> 01:26:29,474 That's right, OK. Come on. 965 01:26:29,601 --> 01:26:32,728 And now the denouement, a fast fuck! If he can manage to do it. 966 01:26:32,854 --> 01:26:35,022 He'll manage, he'll manage. And not just one! 967 01:26:35,148 --> 01:26:38,609 It's just evil. Certain perversions are simply intolerable! 968 01:26:38,735 --> 01:26:41,111 It's all in how you look at it. 969 01:26:41,237 --> 01:26:44,281 If you could I'd tell you to find me a 100 customers like him, 970 01:26:44,407 --> 01:26:46,450 and I could retire! 971 01:26:46,576 --> 01:26:47,618 Stand up, dear. 972 01:26:47,744 --> 01:26:49,745 I'd shove that guy and his nieces right in the... 973 01:26:49,871 --> 01:26:53,749 I know, dear, I know. And I know there's plenty of room, hmm! 974 01:26:54,459 --> 01:26:56,668 Do you suppose that for the Commodore that's love? 975 01:26:56,794 --> 01:27:00,631 Love, you said? He doesn't begin to understand the meaning of the word. 976 01:27:00,757 --> 01:27:03,592 None of you types do, all you know is sex! 977 01:27:11,309 --> 01:27:14,144 Diana my dear, is something wrong? 978 01:27:14,270 --> 01:27:17,022 It's a bad period I just have to get through. 979 01:27:17,774 --> 01:27:21,818 - A big fight with Paolo. - Oh dear, you poor little thing. 980 01:27:21,945 --> 01:27:24,321 You mustn't let the clients see you like that. 981 01:27:24,447 --> 01:27:27,449 That's it. Come to my office. 982 01:27:27,575 --> 01:27:30,160 That's a good girl. 983 01:27:46,970 --> 01:27:49,638 Now what is this? Tell me the whole story. 984 01:27:49,764 --> 01:27:52,516 There's not much to tell, Mister Silvio. 985 01:27:56,771 --> 01:27:58,480 Paolo left me! 986 01:27:58,606 --> 01:28:02,150 Oh my poor dear, cry your heart out. You'll feel better. 987 01:28:02,277 --> 01:28:06,154 It's awful. All because I went to bed with a couple of other guys. 988 01:28:06,281 --> 01:28:09,157 But I'm not sorry I did it. I mean, I didn't do it to hurt him. 989 01:28:09,284 --> 01:28:12,202 Of course, my dear. I understand. 990 01:28:12,996 --> 01:28:15,831 You didn't do anything wrong, not at all. 991 01:28:19,043 --> 01:28:21,003 Oh, Mister Silvio. What are you doing? 992 01:28:21,129 --> 01:28:25,549 Nothing, relax, it'll make you all better. 993 01:28:34,309 --> 01:28:36,560 Hey! Wowee! 994 01:28:36,686 --> 01:28:39,104 It's him! I know the sound of that horn. 995 01:28:39,230 --> 01:28:41,106 Diana, where are you going? 996 01:28:41,232 --> 01:28:42,566 Diana, it's Paolo! 997 01:28:42,692 --> 01:28:46,611 I told you. A husband is just like a bad penny! 998 01:28:57,999 --> 01:28:59,875 MR SILVIO IS A PIG 999 01:29:13,556 --> 01:29:17,476 So... I suppose your folks are in good health? 1000 01:29:17,602 --> 01:29:20,896 I guess living, but I never went to their home at all. 1001 01:29:21,022 --> 01:29:22,814 Yeah? I'm surprised. 1002 01:29:22,940 --> 01:29:26,193 - I've something to say. - To me? OK, I'll listen. 1003 01:29:26,319 --> 01:29:29,029 I'll begin by saying I'll never get over what went on. 1004 01:29:30,490 --> 01:29:32,532 You mean to say something was going on? 1005 01:29:32,658 --> 01:29:35,410 I'm serious, Diana. I'm not joking around, you know! 1006 01:29:36,287 --> 01:29:38,121 I know, me too. 1007 01:29:43,503 --> 01:29:45,837 I couldn't leave you. I was just going out of my head. 1008 01:29:45,963 --> 01:29:47,881 Oh, Paolo. I love you, Paolo. 1009 01:29:49,050 --> 01:29:51,009 So I've decided now and for all time... 1010 01:29:51,135 --> 01:29:54,471 Live by your own rules. Go banging and take happiness in it. 1011 01:29:55,890 --> 01:29:58,225 That's how I like to hear my man talk! 1012 01:30:02,313 --> 01:30:03,855 Who the hell gave you that? 1013 01:30:03,981 --> 01:30:06,191 Oh, Paolo, you mean old shit! 1014 01:30:06,317 --> 01:30:08,318 Don't get mad. I just want to know, come on. 1015 01:30:08,444 --> 01:30:11,238 Once I would have told you that it was a boyfriend. 1016 01:30:11,364 --> 01:30:14,324 This time around I'll just say that I bumped into a tree. 1017 01:30:14,450 --> 01:30:16,701 Tell me the damn truth, Diana, I gotta know. 1018 01:30:16,828 --> 01:30:20,622 All right, Paolo, the French antiquarian is completely mad about little me. 1019 01:30:20,748 --> 01:30:22,833 You can do better than that. 1020 01:30:23,668 --> 01:30:26,169 Cousin Marco, he's arranging an elopement with me. 1021 01:30:26,295 --> 01:30:28,505 Go ahead, torture me. Get your jollies! 1022 01:30:28,631 --> 01:30:32,968 I'll always do everything that pleases you. And it does, doesn't it? 1023 01:30:34,720 --> 01:30:37,556 Yeah, you're right. I like you just the way you are. 1024 01:30:37,682 --> 01:30:39,558 I won't ask any more questions. Not many more, that is. 1025 01:30:39,684 --> 01:30:42,352 From now on, only one truth is recognised - this! 1026 01:30:51,279 --> 01:30:53,989 That's a great ass, looks real. 1027 01:30:55,032 --> 01:30:56,867 It creates a very fine effect. 1028 01:30:56,993 --> 01:30:59,369 I bet you didn't know that ass has been restored. 1029 01:30:59,495 --> 01:31:01,371 Really? You can't tell. 1030 01:31:01,497 --> 01:31:04,499 Well, it had a long crack right down the middle. 1031 01:31:07,044 --> 01:31:09,754 So, did you like your first Venetian night? 1032 01:31:09,881 --> 01:31:12,299 - A-OK. - A-OK? 1033 01:31:12,425 --> 01:31:14,301 Is that the best you can come up with? 1034 01:31:14,427 --> 01:31:16,636 You came up with something better than that last night, six times too! 1035 01:31:16,762 --> 01:31:20,807 - I expect more gratitude than that. - And I always pay my debts! 1036 01:31:21,684 --> 01:31:24,019 No, not now! 1037 01:31:24,145 --> 01:31:25,854 You'll ruin my eye-liner. 1038 01:31:25,980 --> 01:31:28,190 I have to go. I'm late already. 1039 01:31:29,358 --> 01:31:30,901 I'd much admire being let in on the secret. 1040 01:31:31,027 --> 01:31:34,446 Where're you going, done up like that? Date with cousin Marco? 1041 01:31:34,572 --> 01:31:37,699 Truth is, I don't even know where I'm going. 1042 01:31:37,825 --> 01:31:40,076 I just know it's a fabulous day. 1043 01:31:40,203 --> 01:31:42,913 Venice beckons me. 1044 01:31:43,039 --> 01:31:45,248 And I'll be happy! 1045 01:31:47,251 --> 01:31:49,044 Goodbye for now. 1046 01:32:37,468 --> 01:32:40,428 "I'm so in love with... with my husband. 1047 01:32:40,555 --> 01:32:42,639 "In my own way I feel I'm a faithful wife. 1048 01:32:42,765 --> 01:32:45,600 "Other men are just casual flings. That's why I feel no guilt. 1049 01:32:45,726 --> 01:32:47,894 "Believe me, I did nothing wrong. 1050 01:32:48,020 --> 01:32:51,231 "But how can I get him to see it? Diana. " 1051 01:32:56,862 --> 01:32:58,238 "Dear Diana. 1052 01:32:58,364 --> 01:33:01,533 "Hundreds of girls write me that they betray their husbands, but love them. 1053 01:33:01,659 --> 01:33:03,702 "This, as you call it, 'happy banging' 1054 01:33:03,828 --> 01:33:06,538 "is no longer the prerogative of only the males in our society. 1055 01:33:06,664 --> 01:33:08,164 "It belongs to the women too. 1056 01:33:08,291 --> 01:33:11,042 "The important thing is for him not to react with 'jealous banging'... " 1057 01:33:11,168 --> 01:33:13,169 'That's why I always tell my readers: 1058 01:33:13,296 --> 01:33:17,007 'Live your marriage as though it were a movie, not a prize-fight ring. 1059 01:33:17,133 --> 01:33:19,884 'Instead of torturing yourselves body and soul, 1060 01:33:20,011 --> 01:33:23,722 'learn to pretend, to act, to play a part. 1061 01:33:23,848 --> 01:33:26,808 'Obviously many of the women who write to me know these things, 1062 01:33:26,934 --> 01:33:29,769 'judging by the letters I'm printing in this issue. ' 1063 01:33:32,523 --> 01:33:35,275 'Dear Marikla. There's a man, he's a widower. 1064 01:33:35,401 --> 01:33:38,403 'I work part-time for him as a housemaid, because I need the money. 1065 01:33:38,529 --> 01:33:41,239 'He likes to watch me do the housework bare-ass naked, 1066 01:33:41,365 --> 01:33:42,741 'and I don't mind one bit. 1067 01:33:42,867 --> 01:33:45,660 'I let him touch me, and sometimes more than that. 1068 01:33:45,786 --> 01:33:47,746 'Am I abnormal?' 1069 01:33:56,172 --> 01:33:59,215 Venice is an alcove, more than just a city. 1070 01:33:59,342 --> 01:34:03,970 A French poet named it sexe femelle d'Europe. 1071 01:34:04,096 --> 01:34:07,307 - Alphonse told you. - Mm-hmm. 1072 01:34:12,563 --> 01:34:16,483 - I love you. - And me? Don't you love me? 1073 01:34:19,236 --> 01:34:22,238 I'll settle for loving... this. 1074 01:34:30,623 --> 01:34:32,749 What about you? Do you love me? 1075 01:34:37,588 --> 01:34:39,839 Can't you tell that I love you? 1076 01:34:42,802 --> 01:34:44,761 That meat's delicate too, take it easy! 1077 01:34:44,887 --> 01:34:49,015 The problem is, I don't know how much film is left in Aunt Emma's camera! 1078 01:34:49,558 --> 01:34:52,143 Forget about the camera, concentrate on me! 1079 01:34:53,104 --> 01:34:57,774 Darling, it's true, we should live our marriage as though it were a film. 1080 01:34:57,900 --> 01:35:00,944 A precious heirloom for our grandchildren!